I don’t need to flirt, I will seduce you with my clumsiness ; )

Klutz. Yes, that is me. MAJOR klutz. I trip over my own feet daily. I want to believe I meet the floor gracefully, but I know that’s not the case. I still maintain that chairs and shoes are simply bullies out to get me. I know exactly where I leave things on the floor and work out a maze to get through it… doesn’t always work, obviously someone moves things around…

It’s important to note… I have a strange fear of stairs. Well… not fear, but a paranoia for sure. More specifically I’m paranoid I will fall DOWN the stairs. EVERY single time I go down the stairs, I literally picture myself plummeting to the floor. Experience has taught me this fear, and quite appropriately I must say. I’ve fallen down a flight of stairs five times in my lifetime (that I can remember anyway). The first two times resulted in an eye patch, and then a leg brace. YOU try walking up and down four flights of stairs in a damn leg brace everyday! I managed to somehow escape death for years until I was about 5 months pregnant. I was rushing to a job interview and fell down, down, down…… I like to think I’m super mom, because the next time I fell was on the subway stairs while carrying my hummer of a stroller – I somehow managed to turn my body and have the stroller fall ON me. (But hooray, my nena was saved.) My last fall happened at work a few years ago, and that one was in front of a large group of people. >: /

Well today was noooo exception to the rule. You know how they say “don’t text and drive”? Yea, well apparently there’s a Mei Mei add-on: “don’t text and walk.” I crashed face first into the concrete wall in my apartment building. At the very least I stuck my arms out and spared myself any bruising. Fun, fun, fun!! Sad part?? It’s because I “missed” the non existent step at the bottom of the stairs. To keep up the trend of face whacking, a bare tree branch bitch slapped me today too. And this in not my first altercation with tree branches mind you. I was backpacking in Idaho (yea, I know, Idaho…) and a tree branch almost took out my eye. I had to wear YET ANOTHER eye patch for the rest of that trip. It’s no fun having someone tap you on the shoulder and you end up turning around in circles because you can’t find them in your blind spot.

My clumsiness is not going anywhere I fear, so I embraced it along with my quirkiness. I like to think that it’s a part of my charm… that maybe someone even finds it incredibly sexy! = D Yea, well, whatever…

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