We stand at the edge of it
waiting for the drop,
screaming into the void.
The compelling urge to run away
is the only reason I stay
What led us here:
the wild in me,
my uncompromising will
and blind convictions
Our dalliance only a half shadow,
slowly fading into the wind
Even for this I will not yield
In the mist of the morning
I watch it fly away,
overwhelmed and inspired
Hows it? I hope all is well. This is a note to invite you to a writing challenge… the words that literally pour out of you are much apprecaited …so I’ve nominated you to do a free-style writing challenge. Please come by my site and check out the recent post (you’re on there). Forgive me if the formatting is a bit whack, I am at work and neither laptop or wordpress formatting are being cooperative. Cheers ~
This is quite powerful! I think one of the ways in which it works is the force of words like void, uncompromising, yield, and inspired – in comparison to the natural elements you have included (e.g. away, wild, fading, wind, mist) which are soft, calm and gentle. So there’s that lovely contrast there.
If you were to revise it, I think it could work even better with line breaks in the places you want to stress – amplifying the poetic rhythm already created by your words.
Hi Camillae, thanks for your kind words! This was one of those poems that poured out of me in the middle of the night. It was like I had to get the words down before they escaped me – I didn’t even think of breaks, just the words. It’s become one of my faves 🙂 I go by May Ling or my nickname Mei Mei
I write… When the thoughts swirl too much in my head. Because I am afraid to say things out loud. When there is no one to listen. Because I hope one day you'll read my words. I write because I know no other way
Well crafted Mei Mei! I’ve reread it now a few times and it keeps getting better with each read. Right on! Cheers ~
You are making my day! The words literally poured out of me last night and I couldn’t sleep until I got them out.
Reblogged this on the bliss of abu.
Hows it? I hope all is well. This is a note to invite you to a writing challenge… the words that literally pour out of you are much apprecaited …so I’ve nominated you to do a free-style writing challenge. Please come by my site and check out the recent post (you’re on there). Forgive me if the formatting is a bit whack, I am at work and neither laptop or wordpress formatting are being cooperative. Cheers ~
This is quite powerful! I think one of the ways in which it works is the force of words like void, uncompromising, yield, and inspired – in comparison to the natural elements you have included (e.g. away, wild, fading, wind, mist) which are soft, calm and gentle. So there’s that lovely contrast there.
If you were to revise it, I think it could work even better with line breaks in the places you want to stress – amplifying the poetic rhythm already created by your words.
Nice reading these sincere words.
(is it May or Mei Mei? or both? 🙂
Hi Camillae, thanks for your kind words! This was one of those poems that poured out of me in the middle of the night. It was like I had to get the words down before they escaped me – I didn’t even think of breaks, just the words. It’s become one of my faves 🙂 I go by May Ling or my nickname Mei Mei