I hit the town this weekend with a few friends of mine – a house party in the city and a little bar hopping after. The pick up lines I encountered were pure hilarity. Please note that I do NOT give out bonus points for creativity… you MAY get a chuckle or two, but that’s about it. Although I guess that also depends at which point in the night you catch me and how many drinks in I am. So if, for example, you try picking me up on the subway on my way into the city, you’re more likely to just get the evil eyes. My girlfriend was a little more forgiving and friendly to that poor man than I was. Maybe she felt sorry… I’m thinking she wanted to see how far he was going to push it. But honestly… who opens with “Has anyone ever told you two look like the Kardashians?” I mean really? THAT’S what you’re going with? Even if that was true, that’s who you’re comparing me to? Vomit. Here’s the kicker: he then proceeded to ask me “I have to know, you’re not 17, are you?” Was that your way of checking if I was legal? Or your way of saying you wouldn’t care if I was that young? Double vomit in my mouth.
The night only got better and much more entertaining: “Have you ever partied in the desert?” Yes, he asked me that. Why no, I never partied in the desert. I actually like to be close to a water source, thank you. And in this day of technology and social media the concept of dating and flirting has completely changed. Instead of asking someone for their number, they want you to look them up (or stalk them) on Facebook. This same guy kept saying to me “you just don’t know about me, you have to friend me on Facebook, you just don’t know.” Um… gag. Call me old fashioned, but I like phone calls! I like hearing a ring tone and being excited because I know who’s calling me – having those three hour conversations about everything and nothing. I like smiling from ear to ear because I’m looking forward to hearing his voice. Now everything is contained to 140 characters and the posted pictures that chronic your life. No mystery, no more butterflies. I like the butterflies, I like being giddy. *SIGH*