Highway to hell?

So anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a bizare fear of wheels. Yes you read that right, WHEELS. I am an amazing driver… as long as there are no other cars or people to worry about. I should probably explain before someone shows up to my office with a hotwheel car, chasing me down the hall.

While I enjoy riding anything with wheels, please do not let me be in control of the thing. I am certain to crash and take out a good couple of people with me. If you remember from a previous blog, I am quite clumsy (refresher) and therefore am certain to have a hiccup or two in my future. Roller blades jammed my funny bones, I was thrown from a bike down a gravel hill scrapping up my stomach and face and a skateboard just plain ejected me without so much as a warning.

Driving a car then should be forbidden to me. But the grand state of New York gave me that privilege after only THREE months of practice. I’m telling you they hand out licenses like candy with just a simple smile and wink. The first time I was on the highway, I was forced ushered off by a very mean large truck, almost smacking right into the guard rails. Needless to say, after that all my routes follow a strict back roads route even if that adds 30 minutes to my commute. I even only rent cars, never getting behind the wheel of a friend’s car. Insurance premiums are no joke dude!

I will admit the only time I felt complete freedom was those two glorious hours in Punta Cana two years ago while riding an ATV. Soething about giant wheels is a little more comforting. Maybe I’m meant to be a monster trucker.

So anyway, last week I needed to attend a conference in Boston and left my poor confo mate to do all the driving with the exception of actually picking up the car. But then this past weekend my company had this huge event to attend in which we were sponsors. It involved us bringing 20 someodd boxes and bags of awesome goodies to hand out at the site. My co-worker was quite convinced he could fit all this plus 5 people into his range rover. Yea… right….

He then proceeds to tell me I had to drive the santa fe I rented… not only from White Plains to Flushing, but to mid points for people pick up – Washington Heights, Midtown and Chinatown. This involved not only numerious highways in which I must signal and switch lanes, but battling cabbies and crazy pedestraians on the awesome streets of NYC. Oh yea… NO PROBLEM…..

Well I must admit that I rather slowly walked to the bathroom with the excuse of switching out my glasses for contacts. I calmly went into a stall, slid to the floor and balled my eyes out for about 5 minutes. Yes, very adult of me. I still maintain the contacts made me tear up…

I’m proud to say though that I survived and became quite the road warrior over a two day period. To the point where I wanted to keep my rental indefinately. Alas my company wasn’t having it.

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