56,721...
the number of stars
I counted last night
Over and over I count
That's how long it takes
to fall asleep
to trick myself to not
think of you
And yet,
I dream of you
Post Card Series 23
Monthly Archives: May 2015
My Fire
The words may not have been spoken
But I still have my fire
thriving within me
It burns for you
it mourns for me
The parts I've lost,
the ones I can't share
parts only you know
Because out loud it can never live
not the way you embrace it,
the way you accept me
I lay my fire at your feet
because only you would not succumb
only you would emerge with me
Write drunk…
I’ve been struggling lately with the words I want to say and what actually appears on paper. Was riding the metro home last night after happy hour and just started writing. Reading it today I’m pleasantly surprised, albeit it a couple changes here and there. Ernest Hemingway got it right: write drunk; edit sober. Let’s see if I can finish my novel now…
Post Card Series 22
I can go weeks,
easily passing the time,
Finally have a routine
And in just one
moment
A smell
or sound
an image
And again my world
falls apart
Post Card Series 21
Tell me everything
I want to feel your world
To see life through
your eyes
Maybe then I won't
remember
You're not here
Your Light
There is no solace in goodbye
just a fading light -
your light
counting down to darkness
I wish it nowhere but here
wrapped in my
chaos
Nothing else makes sense,
soothes my soul,
quite the same
It's different now,
everything is different
and I don't know how to make it right
I can't see it anymore
I don't know how to feel your light
Haiku Series #106
It comes and it goes
in crushing waves that beckon
but I don’t love you
Haiku Series #105
I loved you fiercely,
wild and without abandon
And then not at all
Horizon
Sometimes I forget just how big the world is… and how small my own world can feel. Every so often I’m given the chance to fly – a rare glimpse into another life. I am so incredibly awed by it and so completely terrified of it. It makes me question every decision I’ve ever made, every path I’ve chosen. When staring off into this vast, endless world, I can’t help wonder will I ever touch the horizon? Do we ever get it right? Do we ever truly belong to ourselves? Are we simply conditioned to always want more? I’d like to think I have exactly what I need in life, so why this longing? I’m fighting this insane urge to just jump in my car and drive, chasing down the horizon. I’m desperate to see the other side and so petrified it’s not everything I hope it is. I just can’t tell if it’s giving up on this life or bravely embracing a new one.
There it goes
We stand at the edge of it
waiting for the drop,
screaming into the void.
The compelling urge to run away
is the only reason I stay
What led us here:
the wild in me,
my uncompromising will
and blind convictions
Our dalliance only a half shadow,
slowly fading into the wind
Even for this I will not yield
In the mist of the morning
I watch it fly away,
overwhelmed and inspired
Mei Mei's Musings 