Breathing is much harder
In this shallow
           empty place
The constant chatter
      invades me
One foot
   in front
     of the other
Damn it
       I'm lost again
It never stops
  this swirling
    in my head
I just wanted a place of 
    solace
Instead I got
             solitude

You stand there stone faced
Calloused fingers grip a cigarette
I watch the red light burn
As it all slips further and further away
Sometimes I say too much
But there's not enough time to say it all
So I stare at that light
And let the silence speak instead
Knowing I only have until it burns down to a nub
What's left of us?
A discarded cigarette, laying in the gutter
Sounds about right

I will not hide in corners
Running from the light
I refuse to rage a war just to prove my point
The emotions are spilling over
While you sing a lullaby
Tempting little devil
Watching others crash into jagged rocks
Lost forever
Smothered screams and heavy blackness
Pulling me under, I will not lose control
Your never ending army grows
Unwilling souls swirling into the depths
Intertwined and restless

It's all engulfed in flames
Why is it so inviting?
This urgent pull
Seductive and desperate
It almost makes me forget
I'm that close to letting you in
Surrendering to that vortex
But your words don't soothe me
They knock me out of my reverie
I will not fall victim
I am my own 
And you can't have me anymore

I grate my feet on broken glass
leaving a ruby path
A swirl of dust pushes me back
Blinding me as I claw through the air
It's heavy and stings my eyes

Sway, sway with me
Let this current pull us away
But the ripples tear piece by piece
Until all that remains is horridly raw
Unfiltered and crude
It shrinks me, swallows me whole
And then spits me back out
In the early afternoon sun
Where I lay to waste
My insides scraped hollow and left to rot

Yet the noise of the world goes on
The busy people with important things to do go by
The move in taxis and walk their dogs
There's only one inevitable truth:
In the end, life goes on

I can't find it
This place that seems to exist for everyone
Except me anyway
I thought I was there once 
It felt like home
But like most pretty things, those memories faded
I can barely recall now
Was I ever there?
Do I just see illusions?
Sometimes I think that’s enough
And then the picture becomes
             more and more washed out
Frayed at the ends
And it can hold me no longer
I need this place to call my own
Where I hear laughter
    Where I'm not afraid
         Or alone
                   (I hate that the most I think)
I need reason to believe that I'm on my way
Perhaps it’s just around the corner?
I hope at least... There's always hope right?
Maybe I just want to be missed when I’m gone
Have a careful eye on the horizon
A place to come back to
No matter how long I’m away
With someone waiting for me
Who’s thinking of me tonight?
And am I home to him?

Running away is easier
Leaves a different mess
I can’t fake smiles anymore
It gets old quick
And wears on my soul
This air is thick
I feel it pushing on me
But the wind racing through the window
    chases it away
The speed surpasses all the things that
    eat away at me
Just the sound of Indie Rock
And the thoughts in my head
        That fade slowly
                Until I silence them away
Maybe if I pretend they don’t exist they’ll really be gone…
Even for a minute
     I need some solace
Nope, that didn’t work
Just focus on the road
And the trees whizzing by
I don’t want to be here anymore
I’m tired of being scared
     Of myself
      Of others
       Of being trapped
        Of my soul’s hunger
I need to break free from these confines of fear

There is a rage hidden deep within
Taunted and tempted
Held at bay too long
Blood boiling and shaking palms called to it
No reversal plan in place
Let the flood gates open
And wait for the destruction
The quiet girl is gone
Not an ounce of meekness remains
I'm ready to play your game
I didn't realize we already were
It's been seven years
But I finally showed up
And I brought some friends
Don't forget you invited me
You say I've ruined your life?
I haven't begun to ruin your life
Let the games begin